You have to be humble and honest not only with God but also with each other. Jesus taught that an honest and humble heart was an absolute essential for effective prayer when He told the story of the two men who came to the temple to pray. One man was very self-righteous and ended up praying with only himself because God would not hear him. One of the problems that couples have is pride. The result of this pride is the refusal to acknowledge any weaknesses, or needs, to one another. Most of the time we don't even realize how foolish or destructive this can be.
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However, praying together as a couple is a great way to solve this problem. It is important for you to remember that your spouse knows you and the problems you face better than anyone else in the world. For you to refuse to pray, or to whitewash your problems in prayer, only keeps you further from one another and the depth of relationship you long for.
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Therefore, when you pray together, you need to be honest and humble yourself before God. Allow your spouse to hear you confess your needs openly and let your spouse pray for those needs. You can't help but be drawn closer to God and closer to each other as a result. Good communication is a fundamental key to real companionship and prayer is the hand that turns the key to open this door.
If you pray individually and not together as a couple, you tend say things to the Lord that you would never say to each other in casual conversation. But when you learn to pray together as a couple, your spouse will hear you say those intimate things that previously only God heard provided you are willing to be humble and honest. For example, when a woman hears her husband praying earnestly about his situation at work, she may realize, Wow, I had no idea this was such a difficult issue for him.
The wife now knows how to better pray for her husband. After you pray together, it is often a good idea to talk about some the things the two of you were praying about. Use this as an opportunity to learn more about each other. As you learn how to pray with each other, you will also learn how to communicate with each other. You will find that sharing things with God and with each other deepens the level of trust and love that you already have with each other.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by praying together. Demonstrate your commitment to God by showing Him that you will pray together with your spouse.
What a sweet fruit of trust and intimacy this will bear. You will never be the loser by giving yourself to pray with your spouse.
Scripture makes it clear that when a believer prays he or she will be built up as a result. As you pray and spend time petitioning and communing with the Father, He will build you up. What do you think happens when you pray as a couple? You are built up as a couple. Could your relationship as husband and wife use a little building up? Even if you already have the model marriage, pray together, and make it even better.
I firmly believe that the husbands should take the lead in this matter. As the spiritual head of the family, it is your responsibility, husbands, to lead. So stop shirking your responsibilities and make the decision to pray together as a couple. Now that you have made the commitment to pray with each other, verbalize that commitment. Tell each other out loud that praying together is something that you are going to do and that you will start today. Once you have made that verbal commitment to each other that you will pray as a couple, you have taken the first step.
If you have never prayed together as a couple before, you need to learn how to pray together. At first it may seem awkward and uncomfortable, but it will pass. When Vickie and I first started praying together we were both extremely nervous and uncomfortable, but we managed to get past this stage so I know that you can too. Now that it has become part of our married life, we both miss it greatly when I'm away and we are unable to pray together daily.
Find a mutually agreeable time. This is the best place to begin your conversation with your spouse. Depending on your work schedule, whether or not you have children, and if you are a morning person like I am, or a night owl like my wife, you must determine the best time to pray together. Try to determine the most undistracted time of day possible that works for both you.
After all, you set aside specific time for grooming or eating everyday, so too you will need to set aside time for prayer with your spouse. I would suggest, if you are an early riser, an early morning rendezvous before the kids get up. Or if you are a night person, pray with each other just before bed.
Keep the prayer time short. One of the mistakes that you can make when beginning a prayer time together is that of trying to immediately pray for an extended period of time. Do not try to impress your spouse with your ability to pray. If your spouse is not accustomed to the practice of prayer, he or she can become turned off to praying with you if you insist on a marathon experience.
Don't try to be so spiritual that you end up quenching your partner's desire to pray. If you want to successfully change your habits, begin with a short time together at first, possibly just a few minutes. This will keep your partner from becoming discouraged, impatient, or intimidated. Let the Lord slowly and naturally lengthen your prayer time together as a result of the Spirit drawing you forward, not by some external rule you have set up.
I personally believe the husband should start the prayer and then taking turns going back and forth until one partner doesn't pray anymore. You will know when you are finished. Then the husband should conclude the prayer.
10 Tips for Praying as a Couple
Never forget that God wants to bless this time with your mate, and he will. So, we encourage every couple whether courting or married, to pray with each other and watch how God blesses your relationship! They both recently accepted the call to preach the gospel. They have a passion to spread the gospel to all that will hear. They enjoy encouraging and inspiring people to know more about Jesus Christ. Their hobbies are writing, dancing, singing and spending time with family.
Content Team Posted On December 1, Share On Facebook Tweet It. Thank you for posting,I read the story with a great big pain in my heart.. A long time ago the priest who married us,told us, on your knees every night,and pray together. My husband was on his knees,and i said we can do our prayers by ourself. He was still learning , l have been a Catholic from birth,That is why now the tears are on my face.
How did i let this beautiful grace go past.. Needless to say we separated ,not get divorced. Will include you and your husband in prayers. Leave the rest to God; who knows for God nothing is impossible. Prayer together with the one you love is powerful, uniting and a way to learn about each other more. This is a great article, thank you.
My husband and I have worked in marriage-prep ministry for 10 years and have always told couples that praying together was, as weird as it may sound, more intimate than sex. Reading that you wrote the exact same thing was awesome!
Should You Pray Together Before Marriage?
Praying together every day and especially our prayer together before going to sleep has been transforming! Thank you for the post! I have prayed to some extent in most relationships.
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But I have prayed more for and with the one I am with now. I love her more than any of the others, who are so distant now I barely remember. Great article, but it needs a caveat. One of the comments properly notes that prayer is more Intimate than sex, the physical serves the spiritual. Therefore, as when I was studying for the priesthood I did not pray with a chalice and paten in my hands that was reserved for ordination , so I believe that the dating couple should not pray holding hands as that is proper only when the two have become one.
My sisters may back me up on this one. Such that it plumbs the depths of who she is. If discernment leads to a separatio of a dating couple the hurt and doubt will run so much deeper in her as she handles the reality. She will doubt herself, men, And God to some degree.
Yes, pray when you date long prayers atbthe beginning of the date in daylight, short loving departure prayers when after having been with her for hours prudence says leave now! When married, hold hand and, as I belive all married should, end your night prayers by restating you wedding vows.
May the peace of Christ be with you! My husband of 51 years, and I attended your mission at our church almost 2 years ago. My husband is not a Catholic but I still hope since our children are grown and married themselves, He does attend Mass every Sunday with me. I was afraid in a way to bring up praying together, but low and behold when I did he said yes.
That is now the most wonderful part of our day, and we would not skip it for anything. On spring break, when the grandkids are staying with us they have joined in with us to pray and continued to do so at home. I have been trying to find a prayer for chastity and self control. I have found prayers to Saint Maria Goretti, but I am still looking for a better one to pray with my boyfriend. Joseph, Blessed Mother, St. Agnes…there are so many, all wanting to pray for us to be chaste!